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Can't sleep....too upset about my child being assaulted!!

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Can't sleep....too upset about my child being assaulted!!

Postby Sabbi » Tue Jan 02, 2018 2:45 am

Sabbi
 
Posts: 7973
So, last night was New Years eve and as my hubsand and two of our daughters are sick, we were staying home in PJ's with Indian Jones movies and hot chocolates; bringing in the New Year quietly.

Our son, who is 14, asked if he could go outside, just in front of our house with his friends for the fireworks and we said yes. He was right where we could see him, playing and messing around with his mates and as teens go, not being upto anything particularly naughty. (no smoking, no drinking, nothing nasty)

While they waited for the fireworks, they started to get bored and as it was dark they couldn't do their usual activity - playing a game of football - they decided (silly of them and yes we are annoyed about it) to knick knack on some of the doors of our neighbours.

I think most kids do this at some stage in their lives...I know I did it as a kid was the thrill of running away while someone shouted after you to feck off was the height of excitement. Last New Years a few kids did it us and we ignored it and they moved on. It was harmless.

We live in a lovely estate and we get on very well with our neighbours but there is one family who tend to get into arguments with people quite regularly, so generally when it comes to them, we smile and say hello and leave it at that. I would take in their post if asked and they'd do the same for us but that's about it. Their children can be quite bad tempered and their language is awful, truly awful (I couldn't bring myself to write the insults I've heard them throw), so we don't encourage our children to play with them. They are not the same ages anyway, so they would not be playing together normally. Generally, we all get on fine and we have little interaction with them.

So, last night, our dopey teenage son and his dopey friends decided to knick knack on their door. The one door I would not want them to knock on because I've seen this family get argumentative with other neighbours so so many times and we try to avoid this!

At 11.30pm, we got a phonecall from the husband saying that our son has 'trespassed on his private property' and had 'rung his bell' and then hidden in a bush next door, so as not to be seen. The husband was very annoyed and was talking about how these teenage boys should not be on his private property, in his private residence (they were only in the front garden for goodness sake!) and that he has a right to protect his property. It all sounded a bit strange so we went outside straight away to call our son inside and we found him, sitting on the ground crying and shaking. All his friends had scrarpered when they saw what happened and I can't say I blame them.

What happened was, one of the friends knocked the doorbell (he owned up to us straight away, we know it wasn't even our boy who knocked) and the boys all dared each other to hide near the house for as long as possible without running away. Our son was behind a bush in the house of the neighbour next to the house that was knick knacked. (these are lovely people and good friends of ours) Unfortunately for our son, he was the first person in hiding the husband could see, so he reached over the wall into his next door neighbours garden (not his private property) and pulled our son by the scruff of his neck into his own garden. He pushed our small 14 year old son to the ground and then pulled him back up - very roughly - and put him in a headlock. Then he angrily told him never to knock his door again and never to come on to his private property again and then he threw him out of his garden.

This is how we found our son, sitting on the ground with his knees pulled up to his chest, crying and literally shaking from head to toe.

My husband was still on the phone with this man when we found our son because he wanted to deal with the situation there and then. But that was before we knew he had roughed up, scared and hurt our son. This man had the gall to complain about the boys knick knacking and at no stage did he apologise for physically hurting our son. Our son had red marks on his neck, arms and legs where he had been dragged and pushed and pulled at. But more than that, he was in absolute shock and was crying and shaking all over. My heart broke looking at him. Yes, he had brought it on himself but in no way did he deserve what happened.

My husband advised the man that while we do not condone knick knacking, a grown man in his 40's cannot and has no right to touch another person's child. Let alone, push, shove, hurt and terrify a 14 year old child.

My husband tried to reason with him that he had done something very very wrong and all he got was a head full of shouting about how they had invaded his private property and how he was within his rights to move him off his property.

Despite the fact, our son had been in someone elses garden when his man pulled him over the wall and - for want of a better word - assaulted him.

My husband tried to make him see that he had no right to harm or touch our child and he continuously defended himself that he was provoked and not in the wrong. He actually said he would call the Gardai next time if it happened again.

Well, I was on the verge of calling the Gardai myself to have this lunatic arrested for assaulting my child.

He may be a silly teenager, acting like a stupid child and playing childish games of knick knack but he is STILL A CHILD.

My husband wants to let it go and just continue to steer clear of this family as we have done successfully over the years but I am not so sure. I want to report it but then, my son has asked me not to either. He just wants to forget about it. He is mortified and upset about it and wants it over.

What do you all think? I just had to get it off my chest, its been driving me crazy all day. I am so so so so mad at this thug for roughing up my child.

In fairness, I think it will be a long time before my son ever knick knacks again and he has learned a lesson but I think it was way over the top and scared him far too much for such a small crime, or perhaps just a indiscretion?

any thoughts or opinions would be much appreciated....

Re: Can't sleep....too upset about my child being assaulted!

Postby mammycool » Tue Jan 02, 2018 12:59 pm

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Posts: 841
OMG - I am totally with you on this one Sabbi. What a monster. Was he drunk? The unfortunate thing is, if you were to call the Gardaí, there is no telling how this person would react. He sounds very petty and vindictive.

In saying that, all niceties out the window. I would not give him or his family the time of day ever again.
mammycool

Re: Can't sleep....too upset about my child being assaulted!

Postby ed1 » Tue Jan 02, 2018 7:56 pm

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OMG this is awful. The poor chap. I think if it were me i would have called and asked the guards for advice on what should happen here. That man broke the law and if he could do that to a child then he is a dangerous person.
Elaine

Re: Can't sleep....too upset about my child being assaulted!

Postby Sabbi » Wed Jan 03, 2018 3:30 pm

Sabbi
 
Posts: 7973
My son asked me (actually pleaded with me) not to report it because he does not want to have anything more said about it. I think he got quite a fright and as much as that's awful, I reckon he will think twice about knick knacking again, particularly on their front door. He just had to learn that lesson in a really hard and ugly way.

I am disgusted by this mans actions but I know well by now that they are a family that argues with everyone at some point (we've been lucky in avoiding them until now I guess) and I am just going to go about my business and stay out of their way. I love where we live, its quiet and nice and almost everyone is lovely. They are the only ones who ever cause problems.

I am going to try and let it go and hopefully when I run into this guy - which I am bound to at some stage - I'll be able to hold my tongue and not tell what I really think of him which is that he is a big bully and a disgraceful human being.

I can understand him being annoyed at kids knocking on his door and running away; I really get that he has a right to be annoyed but at no stage does he have a right to put his hands on my son. My 14 year old son, who is still a child while he is a man over 6ft tall in his 40's. I am still fuming; I am still furious about it but I am trying to think what is the best way to deal with it and I think, probably to ignore them and go on with life as normal and keep my kids away from them.

But if he ever touches so much as a hair on any of my children's heads again...it will be the sorriest he has ever been as I will have the Gardai on his doorstep immediately.

Even now, I am shaking with rage but I will respect my son's wishes and leave it be. This time.

What kind of a man pulls a 14 year old kids off his feet and throws him on the ground and then pulls him into a headlock? He should be ashamed of himself but as per his phone call, he believes he was entirely within his rights. Its scary but I don't want to make any more of an enemy of him because lord knows what he's capable of so I'll let it go. If I can. :twisted:

Re: Can't sleep....too upset about my child being assaulted!

Postby allyj » Thu Jan 04, 2018 4:38 pm

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Posts: 250
This is terrible, what a bully! Everyone knock knacked as a kid! I can understand your decision to not press charges to maintain the peace and to avoid further trauma to your son. Kids have knock knocked on my door and they get bored pretty quick if you don't give them a "raleigh" of course, it actually made me smile and think back to my own childhood, didn't actually annoy me at all. If I was repeatedly targeted I might be somewhat irritated but that was not the case here and regardless his reaction was horrendous. Imagine what his own family must go through living with such an animal.

Re: Can't sleep....too upset about my child being assaulted!

Postby Haileysmum » Mon Jan 08, 2018 11:06 am

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Posts: 709
Christ Sabbi, what a terrible thing to happen, he sounds like a real piece of work- complete nightmare neighbour. I hope your son has recovered ok from the whole experience. I would do as you are thinking of just steer clear of them as much as possible and hopefully you won't have to deal with them again.

Re: Can't sleep....too upset about my child being assaulted!

Postby munchin » Wed Jan 10, 2018 10:35 am

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Oh gosh what a horrible neighbour to have. As you've said your son was in the wrong...id be annoyed if someone knick knack at 11.30pm even if it was new years eve BUT as others have said we've allknick k knocked at some stage and your neighbours reaction was totally over the top.
I think I'd do the same as you don't give them the time of day. Very hard lesson learnt for your poor son. Hope he's okay.


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