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I need to vent

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I need to vent

Postby Haileysmum » Fri May 19, 2017 12:13 pm

Haileysmum
 
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Christ where do i start.....

I just feel that a lot is going wrong at the moment and i am at a loss as to what to do to help the situation...

Hailey has a long standing health issue that we thought we were finally going to get a handle on by going on medication but she had every bad side effect going and Dr told us to take her off it so we are back to square one :(

My Dad had surgery this week to remove a carcinoma on his face.He had skin cancer a few years back and now unfortunately he has it again.

A kid that i babysat who lived 2 doors down from me when i was growing up killed himself, its just so unbelievably sad and my heart is just broken for his poor parents- the funeral was gut wretchingly sad.

Totally understaffed in work and trying to do 2 extra peoples work load as well as my own.

Generally am just wrecked mentally and emotionally and needed to let it out somewhere. i know people are going through worse things right now and in the grand scheme of things i should just get a grip- but just having a bad day :(

Re: I need to vent

Postby allyj » Sun May 21, 2017 6:56 pm

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You are right to vent and let it out, cos sometimes that's about all ya can do. Hope life gets easier for you soon. Xxx

Re: I need to vent

Postby Sabbi » Mon May 22, 2017 12:20 pm

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That sounds like a bucket full of worry and sadness.

Poor Hailey - every time you think you are moving forward something like this happens and you feel like you're back to square one. Poor little chicken, I hope they can find some other medication that will help her.

That is absolutely awful about the child you used to babysit, what age was he? I think there is a major problem with teens and young adults in Ireland. They are scrutinized all the time, at school, online, by friends etc and it can just get too much for them. Our son is 14 and we try to protect him as much as we can but honestly, sometimes I know he is seeing things he shouldn't be seeing. Its very worrying.

Could you take a day off soon? Maybe have a lie in, go for a walk, get your hair done, stop for a long coffee somewhere - just take a bit of time for yourself?

My Grandad and uncle both had skin cancer and after surgery, they both recovered and got over it so I am hoping and praying it will be the same for your Dad.

Sending you a virtual hug. xxx

Re: I need to vent

Postby Haileysmum » Wed May 24, 2017 7:20 pm

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Sabbi, the guy who killed himself was late twenties, he had had some troubles in life but no one knew he was feeling down it was a major shock for his family and friends and I honestly think that they will never get over it, I mean no one should have to bury their child it just goes completely against the way the world should work.

no chance unfortunately to take time off work as my annual leave is pretty tight for the rest of the year and I need to keep some days by for Haileys hospital appointments.

ill muddle through I always do just a bit fed up of the sadness and stress at the moment, thanks for your replies

Re: I need to vent

Postby munchin » Fri May 26, 2017 8:01 am

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Oh haileysmam you're so so right to vent here the worse thing you can do is keep it in.
I can only bring to understand how frustrating the situation is for you and Hailey xo
One of lads here has been out for last week as his niece took her own life it's just so frightening.

Listen we all have our woes and muddle through as we do but it's good to talk. I hope things work out for your dad

Look after yourself and try somehow to get some time to yourself even if it's just an hour to go for a walk when Bailey's in bed you need the headspace with so much going on xo

Re: I need to vent

Postby allyj » Fri May 26, 2017 8:43 am

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How are you feeling now haileysmum? Hope you're doing OK under the circumstances and getting a bit of me time where you can. X

Re: I need to vent

Postby Haileysmum » Sat May 27, 2017 1:07 pm

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I just think its been one of those bad weeks

My dad now has been called in for an angiogram on Tuesday- hopefully it doesn't show up anything bad. He is acting very strange at the moment and I don't know if its because he is anxious about appointment or he knows something that he is not telling us....time will tell.

Hailey had a very bad week accident wise (10 + every day) and to add insult to injury the SNA forgot to put a pull up on her for her after school football so when I got there to collect her she had a big wet patch on her tracksuit bottoms and some of the kids were calling her names it nearly broke my heart :( I saw the SNA yesterday and she apologised for forgetting.

I feel like a right moan so sorry about that, but thanks very much to all who have posted replies, your words do help.

Re: I need to vent

Postby allyj » Sun May 28, 2017 10:46 am

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Posts: 212
Ah haileysmum, you're not a moan, just venting. ;)

Re: I need to vent

Postby munchin » Sun May 28, 2017 3:24 pm

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you're not a moan just venting we all do it!!!!!!!

Poor hailey kids can be so god dam cruel - my eldest was having a really tough time in school - it happened this time last year too but alot worse this time. I think she can handle the carry on of the others most of the year then it eventually builds up and gets too much for her. There is only 5 girls in her class and the other 4 live in isolated houses and spend alot of time going to each others houses BUT we live in an estate and she has lots of friends at home and her dancing etc but they leave her out a lot in school and dont' ask her to play dates etc and there's one in particular who's been really really mean to her and threatened to join her dancing so as to be able to annoy/tease her there and poor dd just had enough

Re: I need to vent

Postby Sabbi » Mon May 29, 2017 12:19 pm

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I know SNA's are busy but shouldn't she have made sure to do this? Surely she understands the way other kids would tease her if she had an accident.

This is heart breaking. Poor little chicken.

I feel your frustration. I think I would be climbing the walls with agitation if I was you.

Is there anything anyone can do to help at all?

Poor Hailey.

Btw, how is your Dad?

Re: I need to vent

Postby Haileysmum » Wed May 31, 2017 7:41 pm

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Munchin sorry to hear your daughter is having a hard time.hope things improve for her soon.

SNA apologised again & told me she has put a reminder on her mob so it wont happen again.

My dad had angiogram on tues & he has to go back tomorrow to get stents put in.im a bit anxious for him.anyone know anyone whos had stents & how they got on

Re: I need to vent

Postby allyj » Thu Jun 01, 2017 8:43 am

allyj
 
Posts: 212
Oh munchin that's horrible, as you say kids can be so cruel. Have the school tried to intervene? You'd expect the school to address it head on and do some group work with these girls, get them to sign behaviour contracts etc, failing that parents to come in and try to sort it. That's the approach taken in my kids school and I've seen it work for my niece who was feeling excluded and bullied to some extent.

Haileysmum I know someone who had stints put in about 10 years ago and he's doing fantastic, I don't know him well so I can't remember about recovery time etc but hopefully it will be equally as successful for your dad.

Re: I need to vent

Postby munchin » Wed Jun 14, 2017 12:16 pm

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Hey haileysmam how's things? How's your dad?

My dd is doing grand she comes across as being tough cookie but she's not really. She's adamant she wants to handle herself and she is now with our support they've been doing friends for life work in school thanks ladies

Re: I need to vent

Postby Sabbi » Wed Jun 14, 2017 4:13 pm

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My Dad has 3 stents in and there is not a bother on him!

He had 1 put in about 10 years ago and then another 2 around 2.5 years ago. He is retiring this month but has been an active postman for the past 20 years - the stents have not slowed him down at all. If anything, they've made him feel better and given him more energy as they help his heart work better.

I was nervous too when he had to get them in but honestly, it was a good thing for him.

He goes swimming 4 times a week and long walks most days - not a bother on him!

Hoping it will be as good for your Dad. Its normal to worry but hopefully he'll be grand.

How is Hailey getting on?

You're some woman for not throttling that SNA! I'm not sure I would have had your restraint!

Re: I need to vent

Postby Haileysmum » Thu Jun 15, 2017 3:31 pm

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Hey, he got the stents in ok and he seems to be taking it all in his stride, fingers crossed it will be as successful as it has been for your dad Sabbi.

We were back to Temple St with Hailey last week and basically there is NOTHING that they can do for her :( our only option is to try her on the medication again that caused all the terrible side effects but to only give her a third of the dose a day and see if she tolerates it better.....that was basically it and see you in 6 months- its so frustrating. Consultant said she usually doesn't see kids as young as Hailey but I find it very hard to believe that parents would just wait it out when their kid is having 10+ wee accidents a day- I mean you just have to investigate it & try and help your child. she said Hailey is at the very severe end of the scale of it :( fecking dysfunctional bladders suck :cry:

Re: I need to vent

Postby Sabbi » Fri Jun 16, 2017 1:23 pm

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There has to be something they can do? what about looking at what they do in other countries? sometimes our health service is about 10 years behind the states etc.

could you maybe get in touch with someone in another country about it for ideas? or have a look online?

there is a medical company called http://www.diaceutics.com/ and they share medical information on a worldwide scale. So lets say someone in Ireland has a medical problem and they do to their GP, well, using the Diaceutics information, that GP could log on and see what other GP's (around the world) are doing to treat similar patients in other countries.

This may sound a little crazy but you must be so so frustrated and if there is any information from other doctors that might help her, it could be worth a look.

Poor Hailey. I cannot imagine how upsetting it is for you all.

Thinking of you.

Re: I need to vent

Postby Haileysmum » Fri Jun 16, 2017 4:09 pm

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I have actually been looking into Harley Street Hosp in London Sabbi, they are quite ahead of a lot of other hospitals- still researching it at the mo, but I will give that website a look as well that sounds interesting.

My Dad has had a bad turn- he was away for a few days to celebrate wedding anniversary and he got a terrible pain like he had been punched in the chest, so went into chemist and they took his blood pressure and said it was sky high told him to go to Dr who told him to go to A&E so he ended up 7 hours in Sligo Hospital - they did bloods and ECG and were happy enough to let him go, they came home early from trip and was back to own GP this am- who has now put him on beta blockers and he is back to cardiologist in a week ( no sooner appointment available)

I have to say I really am feeling anxious was awake at all hours last night with all sorts of thoughts flying around my head- I think I will have a glass of wine and movie night and just try and chill out a bit

Re: I need to vent

Postby munchin » Mon Jun 19, 2017 9:01 am

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Haileysmam it's no wonder you're feeling anxious.
Good you're looking into other options for Hailey so frustrating that it's just hope nothing thinking of you

Fingers crossed things settle for your dad

Re: I need to vent

Postby Sabbi » Mon Jun 19, 2017 12:48 pm

Sabbi
 
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I hope you had a few glasses of wine and were able to sleep.

Betablockers are good - my Nanny is on them and they really help. There can be a little bit of a settling in period with stents and the medication but hopefully it will settle.

I know its scary, we've been through it too and it can be so stressful but try not to worry, generally once the medication is sorted, it settles down.

My Nanny had stents in over 20 years ago and is still going strong at the age of 90!

I'll keep your Dad in my thoughts. And you as well, its alot of stress on you at the moment.

Take care and mind yourself. Maybe try and get an hour or two to yourself? Get out for a movie or dinner with your partner. Or go get a massage or get your hair done. You deserved some relaxation, you are always looking after other people. x


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