Today is anniversary of our baby we lost Post a reply

[Sabbi]

Sabbi

 

Posts: 7950

I always feel a bit sad today, its the anniversary of the date we lost our first baby to miscarriage.

I was 12.5 weeks pregnant and we had seen the baby's heartbeat, so when we lost the baby, it was so sad and we were devastated by it.

I always shed a tear or two today. It feels like just yesterday it happened, even though its been 12 years.

Thinking of this little baba, who never quite made.

Gone but never forgotten.

[munchin]

munchin

 

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xo

[Sabbi]

Sabbi

 

Posts: 7950

I think there is an unlimited supply of tears ready to pop out of my eyes today. For some reason, really emotional this year

Gotta go to work this afternoon and keep it together.

[Haileysmum]

Haileysmum

 

Posts: 697

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Tears are good, no point in keeping them bottled up, take care of yourself xx

[Joe Cleary]

Joe Cleary

 

Posts: 25

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Hi Sabbi,

I wanted to share something from the theory of psychoanalysis that seems relevant to the anniversary you've just witnessed. There's a view in psychoanalysis that we have two deaths - the first, a physical death, and the second, the death of finally being forgotten by the last person who remembered us.

Both deaths will happen for all of us. We can't escape either. But we are alive in the memories of the people who loved us that marks the true boundary of our lives. It is a testament to your lost baby that the life they had at twelve and a half weeks can still mean so much to you because you wanted to give them so much more.

Each of us must find a way to live with grief - because it isn't possible to live a life without it. Whatever form that living-with takes for each of us is unique. But in it we are all alone together.

Wishing you well,
Joe.

[Sabbi]

Sabbi

 

Posts: 7950

So many nice replies - it all helps. I think just talking about it and remembering it and having a cry, helps. A good cry can be therapeutic.

[munchin]

munchin

 

Posts: 5445

do you know what sabbi - a friend of mine lost her little boy at 39weeks last august and her biggest fear is that he'll be forgotten - that people don't talk about him - after the initial we're sorry for your loss comments people don't know what to say and she finds he's being talked about less and less and this breaks her heart. She's doing the mini marathon with some of her family all wearing tshirts with his name on them to raise money for feilican - I think it's a lovely idea.