Mumstown Chat

by **oriordan** » Sat Apr 21, 2012 10:41 pm

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Im eight weeks pregnant today; have had two scans and didnt have a heartbeat either time. Ive known since five weeks that I am going to miscarry. This will be my 7th miscarriage (I have two children) but this waiting around to miscarry is destroying me. I want it over just so I can move on and try yet again. Has anybody had to endure such a wait?

by **lyn11** » Sun Apr 22, 2012 9:34 am

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I am so sorry to hear your story. Its a heartbreaking situation that no person should ever have to endure, but unfortunately so many of us do. I was left by the hospital for a considerable time before they intervened on my second miscarriage. I found I had to get very vocal and indeed write to the head of the hospital before they took action to help me, and enabled me to have an erpc. I dont know what course of action you have chosen but you are entitled to change your mind. Its very difficult to have a long waiting period and I found it got in on me emotionally... dont be afraid to ask for help, from family or friends and contact the hospital again if you need to. There is always a doctor and midwife on call and often they will answer questions over the phone.

Thinking of you at this difficult time.
Lyn

by **Taylor5** » Sun Apr 22, 2012 6:01 pm

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Im so sorry for you losses, God love you and your little lost angels xxxxxxx

Oh i went though this, it was my choice to wait and miscarry myself not the hospital... it went on for about 20 odd days, from the start of sept to the 22nd (my Birthday) I thought i had miscarried, but i hadnt when the scan was done, it was terrible pain... my cervix was open and there was huge clots stuck there!
Plus i had a high temp i had to be rushed for an emergency D&C due to infection risk.... it was very very traumatic, my ds1 was at the friends house, dh was in work in Dublin, he didnt know where my friend lived.... it was all a bit up in the air. TBH I choose to wait, if it ever happened again i would be getting them to book the D&C on day 1.... its a horrible wait, everyday seemed like a week. I know its a major op and it has risks, but i would be on the phone in a flash looking for an appointment
Good luck and i hope it all works out for you xxx

by **oriordan** » Sun Apr 22, 2012 8:56 pm

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Thanks for these replies. They have been helpful.

Up to now it has been my choice not to have been brought in for d&c. In all my previous miscarriages I have never had to have one. Ive either just started bleeding with no warning, or have known there is no heartbeat and the mc started very shortly afterwards. Im skeptical about d&c as Ive had two c sections and this increases the risks associated with d&c. On my last miscarriage I started bleeding at twelve weeks and had booked in for one a week later. They did a scan before the procedure to find everything had been removed. I was so relieved not to have to go through with it. Also the doctor that was to perform the procedure was not one i warmed to, and also heard many incidents about how she had mistreated so many people, at their times of need. I really did not want her to do a d&c on me. She spoke to me at the time and really lacked any sort of bed side manner. I was just so relieved to get out of there. Taylor 5, like you, I suppose Im about 20 days waiting at this stage, and dont like the possibility of possible infection. I think Ill ask for another scan this week and take the decision one way of another. I think three weeks is way too long for something not to have happened at this stage

by **munchin** » Mon Apr 23, 2012 9:38 am

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my sister went through this - eventually like lynn11 said she had to get very vocal with the hospital - she didn't get a d&C - she was given tablets to bring on the miscarriage. She had scan after scan with no heartbeat and blood tests that were showing the hormones going down and down so pregnancy was def not viable - it was a hard decision for her but the waiting was awful - she was almost a month waiting and it headed into christmas week.

So sorry for you loss xoxo

by **Taylor5** » Mon Apr 23, 2012 9:41 am

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It is a long time for the body and the risk of infection, but its not good for your head either... can you not ring the hospital and ask if there is anything they can give you?
Thinking of you and i hope it happens soon xxx

by **Haileysmum** » Mon Apr 23, 2012 9:46 am

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I'm so sorry for what you are currently going through & for all the babies that you have lost over the years that is an awful lot to go through for one person.I hope you have a supportive partner, family & friends to help you at this very difficult time.my thoughts are with you x

by **oriordan** » Mon Apr 23, 2012 12:20 pm

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Munchin,

Thanks for the suggestion of a tablet to bring on miscarriage. I have appointment today and will ask about that. You're right my head is wrecked waiting for something to happen.
My husband is particularly supportive and is going through a real hard time with all of this too, but we are in it together and we are equally desperate to have a third child and will not give up until we have to. My family are great too. Ive found it hard to say it to a lot of friends, and neighbours because they have been so awkward with my news every other time. I want to say it but I just know they dont want to hear it.

by **Taylor5** » Mon Apr 23, 2012 9:19 pm

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Thats sad how people react but i think they dont know what to say and cant deal with it... my sister has never said anything to me about my miss!!! People can be strange, good luck tomorrow

by **Sabbi** » Tue Apr 24, 2012 8:49 am

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On my second miscarriage I waited 2 weeks from when we found out there was no heartbeat and I could not take it any longer so I asked to have a D&C. I just could not cope any more with the waiting.

I was not offered a tablet to bring it on, when I asked for the D&C they said yes and I was booked in.

I had a complete miscarriage myself naturally when we lost our first baby and had expected the same thing to happen when we were losing our second baby and this is probably the better way for it to happen but the wait was killing me so the D&C seemed like the best option for us.

In fairness, there was some relief in getting the D&C. I was put to sleep and when I woke up, it was all over. Well, physically at least.

Talk to them and explain how you are feeling and see what they can do for you. The midwives who were looking after me on our second miscarriage were amazing, they really minded me.

Hope you get some solution soon. You poor thing, keep us posted and please keep posting if you need advice or support or want to get anything off your chest.

And if you feel like having a good cry, do that too, it is only natural to feel like you are falling apart at a time like this.

So sorry for your losses, it is heartbreaking. Take care. x

by **oriordan** » Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:20 am

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Thanks all once gain for your support. Its great to hear everyone elses experience.
Had my appointment the other day, and was told that I would probably miscarry within the next week. If I dont they will give me something to bring it on. So I sit and wait for it to happen. Trying to keep busy and forget about it as much as I can and in a strange way to a certain extent its working.

THey have also informed me about new tests that can be done for recurrent miscarriages involving testing for quantities of natural kiler cells. Apparently we all have them but if we have too many it can overwhelm a foetus and kill it before it even gets a chance. Its involves a blood test sent off to a lab in London. I will get it done after I miscarry and will keep all informed.

Thanks all again...

by **oriordan** » Thu May 03, 2012 5:59 pm

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Just to let all know, just as I got my prescription, my miscarriage started naturally today at almost ten weeks. A lot of pain, physically and emotionally but looking forward to moving on and getting more tests done.
THanks all again.....

by **Sabbi** » Thu May 03, 2012 7:56 pm

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So sorry for all you are going through, it is heart breaking. hope it goes by quickly and with as little pain as possible.

take care and mind yourself, you'll need lots of TLC over coming weeks & months. x

by **LouthMam** » Thu May 03, 2012 8:48 pm

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I'm very sorry to hear that oriordan. It's an awful thing to happen, I know. Go easy on yourself over the next while. I'm sure you will find the strength to get through this horrible time. Keep those that make you happy close by and maybe try to plan some nice things to do for when you're feeling a bit better again.
Take care, LM.

by **Haileysmum** » Thu May 03, 2012 9:12 pm

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Really sorry for your very sad loss,take care of yourself xx

by **Taylor5** » Thu May 03, 2012 10:26 pm

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God love you the waiting must have been a killer. Im glad it has started for you at long last, but it still wont make it any easier. Mind yourself and remember all us mumstowners are her for the emotional support xxx

by **oriordan** » Fri May 04, 2012 7:37 am

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Thanks all so much

by **Sabbi** » Mon Jun 18, 2012 4:29 pm

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How are you holding up now? Its hard for a while after a loss but you have been through so much its so sad for you.

If I could give you a big hug I would. We lost 2 babies and were devastated so I can barely imagine what you are going through.

Chin up and hopefully soon things will go your way and you'll be able to get pregnant and it will go well for you. xx

by **Taylor5** » Mon Jun 18, 2012 9:37 pm

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Yes would love to know how your keeping, remember we are all still here to support.

by **Sabbi** » Tue Jun 19, 2012 7:59 am

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I remember feeling so low and out of it when we lost our babies. I don't know how I functioned, it was a horrible time. It was almost unbearable to go through it twice so my heart really breaks for couples who go through it time after time.

Its so cruel. But I do remember leaning on the mammies on here alot and you all really did help me, the day when I was feeling so so low, I was able to get alot off my chest here and it did help.

Hope she is ok and bearing up.

by **Sabbi** » Sat Aug 11, 2012 3:51 pm

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How are you doing now? hope you ok. xx

by **oriordan** » Mon Aug 13, 2012 10:43 am

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Thanks Sabbi,

Doing good now. I had some tests done to see if i had NK (natural killer) cells but found i didnt. I also had a mineral analysis test that showed up deficiencies in selenium and zinc, so Im on supplements for that. Hopefully that might help. In the meantime we're still trying. Celebrated turning 40 at the weekend. Would be delighted to hear from mothers having babies after 40. These stories keep me hopeful...

by **Haileysmum** » Mon Aug 13, 2012 11:05 am

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Good to hear that your test results had encouraging results.a friend of my sister is pregnant at the moment & she is 40 & everything is going really well for her.Im sure it wont be long before you are posting your own happy pregnancy news,keep positive thinking

by **Sabbi** » Tue Aug 14, 2012 4:42 pm

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A friend of mine just had her first baby at 46!! She always wanted children but did not have the right man and finally, she found the right guy a few years back but because of her age they were not too optimistic. They just welcomed their little baby boy in to the world a few weeks ago and even though it has not been plain sailing and the birth was a bit tricky so she needed a c-section but they are doing well. Mammy & baby healthy which is main thing.

HTH inspire you!

by **pookie2** » Fri Dec 28, 2012 9:01 pm

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Am 31 weeks pregnant with 4th baby - hopefully will arrive safely a month or so after my 41st birthday. All looks good so far, fingers crossed. Am healthy as a horse. DH is 46 - I was told I had post-menopausal oestrogen levels in Jan, was pregnant by June & DH is working abroad most of the time. Have had all mine after the age of 35 - we just didn't meet earlier. Hope this is some of the encouragement you were looking for. So sorry for all your trauma.