Want a D&C Post a reply

[MaryE]

MaryE

 

Posts: 881

• E-mail MaryE

Sadly I've had another miscarriage, last one was this Jan caused by a blood clot in my womb, this one was a missed miscarriage. Went for an early scan at seven week only too be told baby was small for dates but only by a week so wasn't really worried, then had a repeat scan last Friday at nine weeks, sadly the baby hadn't grown at all & there was no heartbeat, so must have stopped growing a six weeks. Had no bleeding or anything & still feel pregnant so it was a bit of a shock. No indication anything was wrong a all.

Anyway last time i miscarried naturally, i bleed for almost six weeks, it has horrific & exhausting, i was a mess & just cant do it again, have to go back to hospital tomorrow & going to insist on a d&c as just want it over now.

Really hope they will just agree to my wishes, are they normally ok?
Hope they dont try to give me the tablets?
How soon can they book you in for a d&c, really dont want to wait
another week? Would love one on Friday or Monday. I hate this living in limbo.

Any advice would be great. Thanks

[munchin]

munchin

 

Posts: 5445

sorry to hear this marye - can't really offer any advice as i've not been there - i do know my sister did get the tablets a few yrs ago but it was after alot of blood tests etc - i hope the hospital listen to you this morning - thinking of you xo

[Sabbi]

Sabbi

 

Posts: 7950

We had this very same situation two years ago so I understand how you are feeling.

I had a scan at 7 weeks and it was inconclusive so had to wait 2 weeks (in limbo, it was horrible) and when went back for another scan, baby had not grown at all and there had never been a visible heartbeat so they confirmed it was a missed miscarriage. They sent me away again to wait for things to happen naturally and said if nothing happened, I could have a D&C the following week.

I was distraught and I went back into hospital two days later with some cramps but still no bleeding and they agreed to do the D&C that day. They were very kind to me and really looked after me and I felt it was a kind thing to do to give me the D&C that day because I was literally distraught at the thought of any more waiting.

Be firm and tell them you simply cannot cope with any more waiting and they may book you in for it. They did with me and they never offered me any tablets at any stage, it was either wait for it to happen or do a D&C.

I am so sorry you are going through this. We had one natural miscarriage and one missed miscarriage and thankfully, after both of those, had a healthy little baby so try not to worry too much about the why, just try to focus on getting through this and then getting better once this is all over.

Will be thinking of you.

[MaryE]

MaryE

 

Posts: 881

• E-mail MaryE

Having a d&C tomorrow, thankfully their was no problem, i just said i wanted it & they arranged it.

[Sabbi]

Sabbi

 

Posts: 7950

As awful as this whole situation is, them booking you in is a kindness because it will be an end to the turmoil and you can start to get better then.

The D&C is not bad at all, you'll be put to sleep and will wake up a short while later feeling a bit tired and groggy but ok. You'll be tired for a few days and will be sad of course, so make sure to rest as much as you can and take all offers of help for dinners, cleaning and anyone to mind the kids and give you some time to rest. You will need good food so get someone to stock up soups and easy nourishing foods and lots of chocolate - I think thats essential at a time like this.

I am so so very sorry you are going through this.

I am sending you a big virtual hug. xx

[chewieodie]

chewieodie

 

Posts: 1375

So so sorry MaryE....

**** hugs ****

[Haileysmum]

Haileysmum

 

Posts: 697

• E-mail Haileysmum

very sorry to read this sad news Mary, take care of yourself x

[oriordan]

oriordan

 

Posts: 13

• E-mail oriordan

So sorry for this loss and glad youre getting your dnc, as you wanted.
WHen I had my miscarriages, I never wanted to have a dnc, but always found the hospital very accommodating for whatever options you choose.
I know it is just so difficult at these times. Ive been there so many times. Hope you start to feel better soon

[julymam]

julymam

 

Posts: 406

So sorry to hear this Marye, thinking of you xxxxxxxxx

[Sabbi]

Sabbi

 

Posts: 7950

Best of luck for today, its hard to deal with all this but at least this will put an end to this part of it.

Thinking of you. x

[munchin]

munchin

 

Posts: 5445

again sorry you're going through this marye - but i am glad the hospital listened to your wishes xo

[felicity]

felicity

 

Posts: 52

• E-mail felicity

thinking of you xx

[MaryE]

MaryE

 

Posts: 881

• E-mail MaryE

Thanks for all the kids words.

it all went grand yesterday, feel ok today thankfully.

[Sabbi]

Sabbi

 

Posts: 7950

Glad you are feeling ok but remember your body (and mind) are going through a very traumatic experience so try to take it easy for a few days. You may feel tired for a while so be prepared if that happens.

Again, so sorry for your loss. Its a very sad thing to go through, I was very sad after our missed miscarriage 3 years ago and aside from the sadness, my periods were irregular for a few months after and I felt wretched. I went to Mark Bell Acupuncture in Drogheda and he was amazing, he really helped me get my menstrual cycle back on track and I reckon its partly thanks to him that we have our baby girl here today. He was so helpful to me, emotionally and physically in getting over our loss.

If you need some distraction, pick up a good book or some magazines and try to take your mind off things for a bit.

Feel better soon and if you need to offload, you know you can come on here to do it. x

[Yvonne]

Yvonne

 

Posts: 7618

So sorry to hear that Marye - I'm glad you got the D&C.

Take care of yourself xxx

[Haileysmum]

Haileysmum

 

Posts: 697

• E-mail Haileysmum

I hope you are doing ok Mary x

[Sabbi]

Sabbi

 

Posts: 7950

How are you doing Mary??? Thinking of you. x

[MaryE]

MaryE

 

Posts: 881

• E-mail MaryE

Thanks for all your messages, ive read them all even if i haven't replied.

To be honest, today i just feel very sad.

Thanks for thinking of me.

[Sabbi]

Sabbi

 

Posts: 7950

For me the sadness started to really kick in a few days after the D&C so its natural that now that is over, you'll start to feel sad as you try to come to terms with what has happened. Even though it was a missed miscarriage, it is still a huge loss to you and your family. This baby was a huge life changing event for you and now that the baby is gone, its very hard to adjust back to normal life, as it was before you were pregnant.

Two miscarriages in a year is very difficult for anyone to handle but you've had a lot of other stresses too, so you are bound to be sad and maybe a bit stressed too so please be kind to yourself and take all offers of help for the next while.

If you need to get some help to deal with things, there is a great support group at the Miscarriage association of Ireland. Everyone in there has been through at least one miscarriage and they are a lovely bunch of people who can really help. Their contact details are: http://www.miscarriage.ie/

HTH.

[Guest]

Guest

 

I am so sorry to hear about this!!! I was in the same situation a few months back, we lost our first pregnancy at 8 weeks and I bled for 5 weeks after! I was very drained too so I am sorry you have to go through that!

[Sabbi]

Sabbi

 

Posts: 7950

How are you feeling now MaryE?

[felicity]

felicity

 

Posts: 52

• E-mail felicity

thinking of you

[MaryE]

MaryE

 

Posts: 881

• E-mail MaryE

Thank you for your messages. I'm grand, i try to stay positive & busy as much as possible, about 95% of the time.

Then there's that 5% - a quiet moment when i start thinking or a slow love song comes on the radio and out of the blue ill be overcome by emotion, i have to fight back the tears (as i'm usually with the kids), it can physically hurt sometimes.

I've a lot to be thankful for, i've been lucky, i have two children that at one stage i never thought i would have, so i am trying to focus on that.

The baby that i lost in January was due this month, on the 23rd, so as that approaches, i'm feeling a little fragile. My next door neighbour is due a baby that day, which is hard.

Anyway, that is life, i just have to toughen up & get on with it & as i said i have a lot to be thankful for.

I just think miscarriage is cruel & i am very confused about it, i have been married for over 10 years, I couldn't ever conceive naturally (even in my 20's) & needed fertility treatment to have both my children, then when i decide that i am finished having children, that i wont try again as fertility treatment is too hard emotionally & financially plus dont want to push my luck, plus i am now over 35 (when fertility is suppose to decline), i suddenly, unplanned, unexpectedly become pregnant twice in one year!!! I got my hopes up, i got excited, i thought it was a miracle, i don't understand why i had to loose both babies. Why is life so cruel!

When my 5 year old son hears about bad things happening, he sometimes asks "Why would God let that happen? ", i want to ask that question now.

I just don't understand why, its so confusing, doesn't make any sense.

In the words of Ed Sheeran in the song Small Bump "Maybe you were needed up there but we are still unaware as why"!!

[Guest]

Guest

 

I really want to stress to you that God does love you!!! We live in a fallen world where bad things do happen but he will never leave your side when they do go wrong!!

Please read this poem and really think on it:
http://llerrah.com/footprints.htm

Heres a good blog post on what you are feeling: http://www.biblegateway.com/blog/2012/0 ... suffering/

God loves you so much if you will let Him and love Him back!